Mr. Blue, 880 Rounds, and "three words".

Most customers I couldn't give two hoots about. Some I like, a few I can't stand. One in particular stands out to me: Mr. Blue. He's not a jerk, but it's just weird to deal with him. I've seen him in the store twice, but every time it's the same - he wants to know if we have the products he wants in some shade of blue. His latest purchase was the Dell Studio Series 17" laptop, with a dark blue case-top. His wireless mouse was also blue. His clothing is always blue, and my co-worker Paul has seen him at the local mall in that get-up as well. He says Mr. Blue's shoes were even blue.

Anyway, it's just weird. He has vision problems, as I had to set everything (fonts, icons, Start Menu) to extra-large sizes when I did the preliminary set-up for his computer. He later returned the machine, sending our laptop sales figures plummeting. Figures, huh? All that hard work and time I spent trying to sell him the damn thing with all the attachments and extended coverage (which really ARE worth it, by the way), all for naught.

My ammo came by post yesterday. I was very excited. It took me some time to figure out how the can opener works for each of the two spam cans, but I got one open. I can't wait to go waste some targets with Hungarian heavy ball. Plus, I can store cool stuff in the cans and the wooden crate when they're empty. By Loki's forked tongue, that crate was heavy! I feel sorry for whomever had to carry that up our stairs.

Okay, onto a truly creepy customer. What this guy was looking for has been lost in the fog of time, but what he said to me at the checkout was, frankly, disturbing. It went a little something like this:

Him: [in a soft, soothing voice, like he's an announcer for those corny smooth jazz radio stations] It seems like you're a pretty smart guy; you have a lot of spiritual, emotional, and mental strength, so I'm going to leave you with three words.

Me: Uh, thanks?

Him: The three words are "Oh", "Bah", "Mah" [as in 'Barack Obama']. I can't understand why people wouldn't vote for him. It's as if they're retarded or something. Will you vote for Obama?

Me: Um, I don't discuss politics with strangers.

Him: Well, do the right thing in November.

At this point I'm just about



and ready to reach over the counter, grab him by the collar and lecture this snobbish assclown about how taxing corporations is what pushes them to move overseas, how banning firearms doesn't actually decrease crime rates no matter how many Million Mom Waddles that Rosie O'Donnell hosts, or how not voting for a black man is nowhere near as racist than calling someone like Thomas Sowell a "sell-out" for not supporting reparations and generally not buying into the whole blacks-as-victims school of thought.

The guy was talking about Obama like he was the bloody Second Coming of Christ or something. That's the big thing that's pissing me off so much about the Obama campaign - he's some empty suit being lauded and worshipped like a demigod for the sole reason that he's BLACK.

Here we have a community organizer who lectured a few times in a Constitutional Law class, with a paltry four more years of Senate experience than your faithful narrator, who has more than a few connections to people who support racial separatism, hostile religious supremacism, or domestic terrorism. He's been involved in the Chicago political machine, which is tough to emerge from without some sort of unsavory dealings-with.

Excuse me while I yawn, and then look slightly disgusted.

I will bet you the Brooklyn Bridge that if this was a white guy named Barry O'Bannon, you'd hardly hear a peep out of the media, and possibly even the Internet as a whole. Maybe one of his buddies would write a blog entry with some photos of a Super Bowl party one of them had with Barry in it, but that's about all the media exposure he would get.

Throw black-ness into the equation, and you've got what we have now - a cult of personality, attracting the brainless, the superficial, and the easily-amused.

"He's black! And he's speaking about hope and change! Honey, come in here and watch this eloquent fellow with a totally inclusive and multi-cultural background talk down to some white people who own guns!"

Suddenly, people forget what a crappy politician he's been and just focus on the smoke and mirrors. He's black, so that must mean he's different. Sorry, folks. The Democratic Party don't work like that. They are all on the same channel: giving up in Iraq, taking away the ability of ordinary people to protect themselves and the Constitution all while claiming to be "rescuing" it from the clutches of the EEEEEEVIL REPUBLICANS AND THE NEO-CON ZIONISTS, stealing the money you worked hard to earn and giving it to people who don't necessarily work hard (after using a sizeable chunk of it for "administrative costs" and other things that involve overpaying the lazy and inept bureaucracy), and then blaming it all on someone else when the country goes to hell.

By playing the race card, the Democratic party can essentially excuse anything - by combining the creative use of language and people who have high-level degrees in bullshit post-Marxist fields: implement wasteful and economically-debilitating social welfare programs, create a class of victims through repetition of "you're a victim, and we're here to help", and then blame it on "latent racism in the American psyche" when it backfires and ends up giving the black community a larger teat to suckle, making it more dependent on other people and requiring ever-increasing amounts of budget allocation to keep the masses fat and happy with their government cheese. They don't care what the actual result is. Good intentions are all that matters. As long as their constituents (important) and they themselves (MOST important) feel good, they can go to sleep on a clean conscience.

In conclusion, those who live in the Ivory Tower of Leftist Thought that stretches into the heavens are not really in a proper position to dictate to the common people what they should and should not do. A fall from that height is sure to cause some brain damage, if the altitude sickness hasn't gotten to them already.